Sick and tired

No really, I am down with flu and sore throat and tired from all the work. Yet I still have to work when on sick leave. Sigh.

Hadn't blog for some time I know. Just tired and didn't feel like it somehow. So much pent up anger and frustration. The minute I blog just can't stop.

I can't wait to leave my current company. Want to leave it all behind and start again.

I miss the gold old days of being naive and looking forward to a new phase in life. I miss university days. I wish I can go back to studying and be with my friends working on a project together and hanging out over night and talk nonsense.

I wish I got someone to hug right now. I wish I can just cry like a baby and someone can lend me his shoulder to cry on. And after all the crying he will wipe the tears away and comfort me. Then carry me to bed and tuck me in to sleep. Not going away and telling me sweet stories until I fall asleep.

I wish I can just run out into the field and let the rain fall on me. Maybe even pretend to do a rain dance. Enjoy good music blasting from good player and speakers and embrace the rain with arms wide open and facing the heavens.

There's so many things I want to do. But I know I can't because of reasons and excuses.

I can't because I am too frustrated and too angry to do any of that. And I can't let it out because I do not know how to.

I am lost once again.