The enemy at the cubicle

You can't find true friends at work.

That's what they say anyway.

I have found a friend or 2 in my work place. I also found a few acquaintances who have given me some lessons that I found useful.

But I have also found the meaning of greed. Greed for power.

People can change once they have grasp such power. It's insatiable. The power to control anything and everything. The power to move the chess pieces on the glass table. The power to command and conquer. The power to build and to destroy.

Values of life does not apply here. The virtues of humanity is used the other way around. It is used against another when the goal cannot be reached. They would do all kinds of things to get the ultimate power over another. They will betray and use and rid away anything that come their way.

You can't find a friend in a world where the dogs really eat other dogs to get the bigger dog. It's the survival of the fittest and the survival for the name. All these because of power.

Power in this sense is control. Power in this sense to be able to make the final decision. The power in this sense to do it your way. The power in this sense to make people fear you.

That my friend is the evil. It is as evil as what money can do unto you when you have a lot of it.

I have in my 3 years of full time working experience seen all sorts of power being moved around and within. People come and go but there are some individuals who would plan and scheme around to get what they want done their way. They play the chess game for real. And they use others as their pawns so that they can become the queen to destroy the king or at least be near the king. They try to get hold of the bishops to help them and take advantage of the knights and castles without care. All they want is the ability to move in all directions in their way and their style.

That one character was one who came in like a wolf in sheep's wool. Started out really knowing nothing. Befriending you knowing that you're nice. When the knowledge is enough the sheep starts to grow claws. Showing ability to grasp at the unknowing individuals and rid them from getting in the way. Taking control of those deemed dispensable.

Then the sheep start to grow horns and a tail. They feed you with encouragement. Helping you push yourself to improve not knowing where you're headed. The horned sheep pushes you to believe you are great and that you can be at level with the horned sheep. The tail hits flies that try to hurt your reputation or try to invade into the horned sheep's area. The other sheep rely on this so called sheep and give due hand to support this so called leader of a sheep.

Now the sheep's wool is gone. With only a bit left. The mutation of the wolf's own body out growing the wool. Only the face remains what seemed like a sheep. The wolf-sheep now starts to steer its wheel on the rest. Pushing them to be more than they could or should. Providing a fake sense of motivation and making the herd bleat with excitement but starting to grow weary. And 1 by 1 then the wolf-sheep sees the need to rid the unlikely. It starts to inflict fear and power over the weaker ones. Causing them to be left alone and the working ones to push themselves even harder. The fearful ones does as it says.

Then the stronger ones start to loose the energy and the wolf now hides only it's heart with a sheep's. The last sheep standing finally sees the real face of the wolf but still cannot fathom the heart. The sheep now must stop or die trying. Because the wolf tried to make the sheep mutate into a hybrid of sheep to wolf.

Finally the sheep wants to stop but the wolf already baring it's teeth is now eyeing the seat next to the shepherd. Kicking away all who were already used and then forcing the remainder to push to the limit. Dragging the remainder to a desert. Wanting to gain the green pastures over the hill.

Other wolf-sheep are now around the herd. The wolf-sheep go head to head yet playing hide and seek. All eyeing the staff of the shepherd. The ones who fall are the herd that is controlled by the weaker wolf-sheep.

Ultimately the sheep must leave the herd before it dies being pushed till they have no more strength to go on.

This my friend is the story of my working life. I too almost fell into wanting to be a wolf but thank God that I remain a sheep. A sheep that wants to leave this herd or else die trying to move along. To survive in this sense is to run away as soon as possible.

All the wolf-sheep are starting to get on each others' nerves. Each one playing their own game and trying to out do one another. But what hurts the most is that the one wolf that leads this herd is now baring its teeth and starting to rid its faithful. Ignoring and putting aside the one who had helped and supported the so called sheep.

Feels like I have wasted my energy on a meaningless venture. I have put all my passion and sweat and tears into working my ass into this and what do I get? Cold stares and no appreciation for work done. Being ignored and spoken to harshly for slacking.

I feel so used. So now it is time to pay back. Time to give it all back. But how? What do I do? I want to take revenge but how to go about it and with what? I want to destroy what was built and make the pillar fall on the wolf. I want the wolf to start all over again but start with nothing.

I want this so called sheep to get what it deserves. I want revenge.