I think, helps with the coping of or an attempt to accept, reality. Sometimes. For some, reality is biting so hard, they cannot help but be a cynic. Feeling jaded? Turning callous? I am not sure.
Nowadays I cannot see that much a good in a cause organized to supposedly help with or create awareness about the environment. Then, I am always finding for 'terms and conditions' or 'clauses' or 'fine prints' to everything be it a product or a service. I have difficulty trusting the term 'free' or 'good value' or 'limited time only' when it comes with a dodgy advertisement or overly excited sales person.
Nowadays I see myself either putting less confidence in or offering less help to people. In the past, I get disadvantaged of in terms of my convenience, my time, my energy and I do not even gain or benefit from those actions. Instead I get disappointments. Generally, I do not have high expectations of people, not even myself. I think that way because I know nobody is perfect. Those days it was an automatic response for me to say 'yes I can help' or 'sure, no problem'. To think about them now, I feel stupid. I feel worse when I can actually tell or somewhat predict that a negative response or result is about to happen and I STILL went ahead with whatever idea or plan or suggestion by those people. All these had led me to believe that either they realise it and change, or I have to change. I highly doubt the former would. You can see now why I want to put a stop to my overly kind and gullible personality.
So, I either be 1) looked at as a 'bad' person for doing things differently than usual, speak up and offend somebody or throw a bitch fit and expect everybody to know what just happened. Or 2) to act the 'good' guy by being nice and just let it be, or continue being nice and allow a similiar situation to happen again some other time and still say it was fun or it was okay or that it was not so bad afterall, and be seen by other people as being unwise or so gullible. There is no justification when you have been hurt or inconveniened through your own willingness is there?
Either way, nobody is going to be happy. If that is the case, why should I let them - the naive people that they are be happy alone, and I have to suffer the consequence of their actions, because I allowed myself to go along with it or allowed myself to be part of it, and pretend I am okay?! If that is the case, I should make sure that I am happy too right?!
In retrospect, I am learning to be more selfish and to think twice about helping people or to be part of something. If some of you think that I am already selfish in some way currently, then you must not know me well. I have always been too nice or kind that I keep a lot of things to myself so that I do not hurt people's feelings. I have always been trying to ensure everybody is happy I sometimes forget about myself. Well, not anymore. The reality is people's priorities change as they grow older, stepping into a new phase of life or when they have experienced enough shit, I mean, trouble to need to adapt better for the future. That is life. You either survive it or always be unhappy about it. If you cannot accept people doing things differently now or see them moving on, then you have not had your reality checked.
I have a lot of anger in me I know. I currently have a new drive. It is helping me improve and to be above my sorry and emo self. Well, it feels good. And yeah, I'm lovin' it.
So, when people tell you to not judge a pretty person, I mean a book by its cover, they are telling you something - a warning. But be careful of the not so good-looking or plain ones too. Their contents can just be as nasty. Behind the facade or words of kindness are secrets, behaviours, thoughts, stupidity or bad things you might not know about. When you are not careful or prepared, it would be too late.
Just like I would not be able to view these Disney Princesses the same way either. I always knew they were evil in some way.
Nowadays I cannot see that much a good in a cause organized to supposedly help with or create awareness about the environment. Then, I am always finding for 'terms and conditions' or 'clauses' or 'fine prints' to everything be it a product or a service. I have difficulty trusting the term 'free' or 'good value' or 'limited time only' when it comes with a dodgy advertisement or overly excited sales person.
Nowadays I see myself either putting less confidence in or offering less help to people. In the past, I get disadvantaged of in terms of my convenience, my time, my energy and I do not even gain or benefit from those actions. Instead I get disappointments. Generally, I do not have high expectations of people, not even myself. I think that way because I know nobody is perfect. Those days it was an automatic response for me to say 'yes I can help' or 'sure, no problem'. To think about them now, I feel stupid. I feel worse when I can actually tell or somewhat predict that a negative response or result is about to happen and I STILL went ahead with whatever idea or plan or suggestion by those people. All these had led me to believe that either they realise it and change, or I have to change. I highly doubt the former would. You can see now why I want to put a stop to my overly kind and gullible personality.
So, I either be 1) looked at as a 'bad' person for doing things differently than usual, speak up and offend somebody or throw a bitch fit and expect everybody to know what just happened. Or 2) to act the 'good' guy by being nice and just let it be, or continue being nice and allow a similiar situation to happen again some other time and still say it was fun or it was okay or that it was not so bad afterall, and be seen by other people as being unwise or so gullible. There is no justification when you have been hurt or inconveniened through your own willingness is there?
Either way, nobody is going to be happy. If that is the case, why should I let them - the naive people that they are be happy alone, and I have to suffer the consequence of their actions, because I allowed myself to go along with it or allowed myself to be part of it, and pretend I am okay?! If that is the case, I should make sure that I am happy too right?!
In retrospect, I am learning to be more selfish and to think twice about helping people or to be part of something. If some of you think that I am already selfish in some way currently, then you must not know me well. I have always been too nice or kind that I keep a lot of things to myself so that I do not hurt people's feelings. I have always been trying to ensure everybody is happy I sometimes forget about myself. Well, not anymore. The reality is people's priorities change as they grow older, stepping into a new phase of life or when they have experienced enough shit, I mean, trouble to need to adapt better for the future. That is life. You either survive it or always be unhappy about it. If you cannot accept people doing things differently now or see them moving on, then you have not had your reality checked.
I have a lot of anger in me I know. I currently have a new drive. It is helping me improve and to be above my sorry and emo self. Well, it feels good. And yeah, I'm lovin' it.
So, when people tell you to not judge a pretty person, I mean a book by its cover, they are telling you something - a warning. But be careful of the not so good-looking or plain ones too. Their contents can just be as nasty. Behind the facade or words of kindness are secrets, behaviours, thoughts, stupidity or bad things you might not know about. When you are not careful or prepared, it would be too late.
Just like I would not be able to view these Disney Princesses the same way either. I always knew they were evil in some way.
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