Obsession

Sometimes God I feel You are so far away.

What can I do with my obsession

Sometimes I think You love others more than me. You bless others much more. You give them gifts and I feel I don't have any.

With the things I cannot see

And sometimes I feel I am only doing more wrong than the right that I thought would please You.

Is there madness in my being

And I feel sometimes too that I have to love You first before You will even look my way.

Is it the wind that moves the trees

I thought I heard You but I am not sure. And then I thought it was from You but it really was not.

Sometimes You are further than the moon

I try to seek You but only to have You near and then I end up 2 steps back away again.

Sometimes You are closer than my skin

What sin have I done that You'll stay away from me further and further the more I want to be with You sometimes?

And You surround me like a winter fog

And when I feel You near me, I fear You. I fear what You are going to tell me. I fear what You want to show me.

You have come and burned me with a kiss

But I have been blind. I have been deaf. And I have been thinking too much of my little ways. Letting my burdens fill whatever hope I had left. Thinking only within my limited world. Thinking only of what my hands can do for myself.

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns…for You

But my heart burns for You still. I yearn for you.

And I am so filthy with my sin

Sometimes I am so afraid of Your love. How much it can consume me and leave me all broken.

I carry pride like a disease

Yet it heals. Yet You heal. Yet You are there. Yet You are faithful. Yet You watch over me.

You know I am stubborn, Lord

That peace that everybody wants and needs. It is You.

And I am longing to be close

I hate myself but You do not. You do not care. You do not expect like those down here. You led me to You. You did love me first.

Your burn me deeper than I know

Always. No matter what I did. I can still come back to You. And You greet me without prejudice. Holding out Your hand all the time. No matter how small or silly in my own human terms I think I have done wrong or have not done at all.

And I feel lonely without hope

I do not need to tell You. You already know. Yet You do not say anything. And then I will know. And we do not have to say anything. Just that knowing. And I can cry. There is no need to fear.

And I feel desperate

That burning warmth within my soul. You are really there. You are out there. But yet still within me. And You hear me.

Without vision

I try to be independent. I try to be an adult in this world. I have to be on my own two feet. But when I am with you I do not need to. I am still a child. I want to be a child when I am with You. I can always be a child with You. I do not need to be tough. Because when I am with You, everything in this world means nothing. It comes crashing with my human pride.

You wrap around me like a winter coat

And You wash me. I am renewed. Just with Your touch. Your embrace.

You come and free me like a bird

And I am free. I am lifted. I am Yours as You are mine. There are no rules or methods or people telling me what I ought to do among them just so to be near You.

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns…for You

That is why my heart still burns for you. I do not say it with all that I do down here. I do not say it in my prayers often. But it does LORD. It still does.

My love for You
My heart for You

Ever since You called me to You.

My life for You
LORD I am for You

Obsession by David Crowder Band version