Playing Mindless Games

Life is one hell of a game. Make that one of those RPG ones. Oh and in console version.

You start of as a character with nothing on you and as you proceed to next levels you gain experience and you collect rewards. Of course don't forget the enemies along the way and you need to deal with them OR a situation that requires you to try so hard and feel frustratred over it. There are many possibilities and/or outcomes as to how your character will survive.

Sadly, sometimes there comes a point where you are stuck at something and you can't move on until you get that solved. And you get all angry and frustrated at it and you may even give up. Of course sometimes there is help out there like a walkthrough or even cheats. So then you continue again to pursue the ultimate goal of the entire game.

Then, the good part is that if you're good at it then of course you practically run through it and get the satisfaction of getting everything easily. The fact that you actually understand and know the loopholes gives you that satisfaction even prior to winning anything.

And it's really funny that sometimes the ending can be either lousy, very cool or even indifferent. But whatever it is the game is over and you either play it again and try to score better or put it aside and won't bother anymore.

How do you see your life? Is it a game? Or is it just life?

I for one, hate it when life comes at you like that of a game. You want to play and win the game but bad things just come at you non-stop. Situations, problems and everything under the sun that doesn't give you terminal illness that is. That would be a different thing all together - a movie.

Yes. I hate to be stuck in a gaming situation where you keep playing and playing and playing but you Still. Can't. Effing. Get. It. Right! You try and try and you still can't seem to solve the problem. You get all frustrated and you lose yourself to the anger and emotional turmoil but you still don't know how to get it done and worst - you STILL have to do it!

You know what? I'm refusing to see life as that but really...it's like that.

It's like somebody out there is playing a game of you (no, I won't want to be called a game like Legend of Rayn or Final Fantasy 26: Advent Rayn or World of War Craft: Burning Rayn...I know - major lame) they are making bets or something and see how far you go or how deep you fall. I wish to refuse that but alas that's not possible to prove that either.

Damn it! If only we can save the scene or the current game in the memory or SD card or something. That would have been very useful for me. Would pause and go do something else and come back to tackle the situation.

But Nooo....

*roll eyes*

Sigh...why am I so frustrated? My job - I am having a love-hate relationship with it.

Seriously, I actually love my current job. I find satisfaction at doing the stuff I do now. I'm kind of contented as compared to my previous job. Really. I ACTUALLY like my job man...

But at the same time when things don't go right and the people you deal with gives you shit, it hurts. It made me think that maybe I am not cut out for this job. I feel frustrated and fearful at a mere phone call.

I'm not a perfectionist though I am particular. But at the rate I'm going here I don't dare say that I am particular anymore. I can't be! Everything and everyone wants a piece of you. To gnaw at you and want to rip you apart and better to see you suffer while you die slowly in their hands. Damn it!

But you know. I do believe that I am here in this job for a purpose or a start to something better. I don't know what it is but I can see that whatever I do here is somewhat making me or moulding me to be better at something. Which I can tell you I still don't know yet.

And it's ironic. Because I wanted to get into the education line ever since I came back from Perth. Somehow or rather that didn't come out as planned and while yearning for it learn other stuff along the way (which was eventually a good thing). Finally when I got it, I seem to be dreading it a little. The irony. O The Irony.

Sigh. I can't wait for my holidays. But at the same time I need to complete my work before that. It's like I imposed a dateline on my life too.

Damn it!

Would somebody give me an SD Card to save my shitty life now so that I can rest from this game for awhile?!!

HELP ME!